Travel Advent Dec. 19: What Could Be

Coronavirus fucked a lot of shit up. But it’s given me a lot of time to look at my life, and what I could be doing right now.

This time last year, I had two identical offers on the table: be the new Community Manager for Be My Eyes and stay in Denmark, or move to Costa Rica with my friend and be a chef in a hippy yoga commune. I don’t regret taking the first option, even though working an 8-4 is sucking me dry and Denmark is no longer the place I want to live. Rather, it was the perfect opportunity for waiting this whole thing out. I’ve been afforded the ability to work at an interesting company that does legitimate good for the world, while developing my professional skill and saving some money for future adventures.

But there is always the sound in the back of my head, wishing I could be in Costa Rica. My friend is still there, so it’s interesting to see how we always want what we can’t have. I’m currently freezing every day, dying slowly of a vitamin D deficiency in the repulsive Danish winter. My friend is deep in the Costa Rican jungle, living in a shed with her boyfriend picking banana’s and working remotely part time. I wish I could be somewhere warm and work less, she wishes she could be somewhere with a bit more certainty.

If roles were reversed, she could be in Europe working a day job, slowly being drained of life and ambition — while I could be deep in the Costa Rican mountains, weathering the rains and writing nonsense for pocket change. Would either of be happier? Probably not, and we’d both desire the lives of the other for a time. So while it’s easy to wish I were in a banana hut in the Costa Rican mountains rather than freezing my giblets in Denmark, I’m trying to find the positives of this situation.

Yet still, there is that voice that wishes I could leave — wishes I could be in Costa Rica. So why is it so hard to be happy with what we have? Why is it so difficult to enjoy the moment, and be completely in the place we are in the moment?

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